i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
