Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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