instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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