thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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