i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
