No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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