You kept calling me your small dog last night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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