you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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