She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
