Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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