it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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