You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
