just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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