Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
