All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize