just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
