the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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