Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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