Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
