spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
