i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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