You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
MIDGETS
????
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
