I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize