like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize