Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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