I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
