Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
