Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I came so hard my ears popped.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
