dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize