I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So squirting runs in the family.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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