He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
