Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
