Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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