So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize