My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
