This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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