oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
