Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
