Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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