You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
