i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize