And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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