I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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