Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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