There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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