Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
