Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize