How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
