If i come over, it means nothing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
