I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
