pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
