Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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