Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize