I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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