And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
