2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
