How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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