hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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