Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
