i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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