addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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